OK, so I'm new to this site, so please bear with me....
Anyway, my problem is that I'm currently 29. In just under a year I will be 30. However, I have never been in a relationship at all. Never been on a date, or anything close to that. I'm sick of friends telling me that I will eventually find somebody, as that just doesn't seem to be the case. How long do I have to wait, before I can find myself in my first relationship? When I'm 90? All my friends are now married, or have their life time partners. Yet here's me, still always single and dateless basically feels like I'm getting left behind.
I'm the nicest guy you could possibly imagine. At one of two jobs where I work, which is part time at a petrol station, I have two female managers. I'm always popping in when I'm not working, letting them go on smoke breaks, taking them in breakfast/lunch, etc. I have to say that I expect nothing in return from this. They just happen to be two of my closest friends now. They are aware of my predicament, it's a long story about how I did tell them about it, but I don't really want to go there right now.
I'm a somewhat shy guy, I get nervous around women, particularly with women I am not familiar with. I'm OK when I'm working, but put me in a social environment, and I just go to pieces. Case in point. I was in a bakery the other day, ordering a chicken and salad roll. There were two foreign girls who couldn't make up their mind about what to order. They were both rather pretty. One of them turned to me and asked what I had ordered. For about ten seconds, I couldn't even remember what the hell I had ordered. I managed to get it out in the end, but chances are I probably looked like a right fool. I also tend to blush when I'm nervous, which makes it ten times worse.
I used to go out to pubs and clubs, but made no headway there at all. Never even managed to pick up anybody, whereas my mates never seemed to have too much trouble. Had one or two nasty experiences with women out at pubs, that I do not particularly want to get into. I'll just say that there are women out there that can be needlessly callous and cruel. They didn't have to do what they did to me, a simple no or go away would have sufficed.
Anyway, so I've been trying dating sites for the past six or so years. Thought I'd meet somebody online, as I used to be under the impression that the internet was where desperate people went searching for love. No result there. No interest from anybody, nothing but rejections, literally talking hundreds here. The last online site I'd used was RSVP, even paid money for the ability to message people. That was a big mistake. Anyway, I got rejected by a woman, so I sent her a message asking just where I was going on, and if she wouldn't mind offering some tips and advice as to how I could improve.
Nothing could prepare me for her response. It went as follows:
Well frankly you seem pretty desperate and really pathetic. You look like a complete creep in your profile picture. I would wish you good luck in finding anybody, but we both know that's not going to happen. Never message me again."
That really hurt, and had me down for days. If it weren't for the fact that I had a job to go to, I wouldn't have even bothered getting out of bed. There was one more time where something like this happened, so I'm not sure if I'm just been sending messages to really shallow, bitchy girls, or if the problem is actually me.
So anyway is it a bad thing to be near 30 and to have experienced no form of a relationship? Am I doomed? Are women my age even interested in inexperienced guys like me? Or is it considered too weird and creepy, to be this old and never to have had a relationship or been on a date?
hey there, i had never had a relationship until i was 29 and that ended in january this year and i am now 30 and havent found anyone else since so i do kinda know how you feel